The giveaway for a month of writing and editorial mentoring is over, and the winner is…  Naomi from Brooklyn! Congratulations, Naomi, and thanks to everyone for entering and generating excitement about my blog and my soon-to-be-launched course, Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked.

I’ve just come back from the recording studio, where I recorded Wake Up Your Prose for the 4th time! Now I know that you will be getting top-quality sound along with professional slides, super-comprehensive workbooks, and an in-depth, easy-to-follow course! Stay tuned for the launch…

 

Rereading an old friend

This weekend, I reread one of my favorite books, A Cup of Comfort for Teachers. Aside from the fascinating, hilarious, remarkable, touching, and sometimes gut-wrenching stories, I was awestruck by just how good they were from a technical standpoint. We can learn a lot from these stories, and from their authors – especially about description. Here are a few things I observed:

 

Grab your audience from the get-go

One of the areas I will be discussing in Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked is beginning your book, story, article, or memoir with a bang; grabbing the reader from the get-go.

Many of the authors in A Cup of Comfort for Teachers chose to begin their story with a description of the main character: “Diana had scraped knees and wore a too-large-for-her-body dress created from feed-sack calico when we entered the school on the country road outside of Macon, Missouri.” Some opened with dialogue: “‘Ow! Ow!’ I shouted as I broke my jump rope rhythm and tangled my feet in the slack rope. ‘Something in my shoe is biting me,’ I wailed.” And still others opened with a piece of information that whets our appetites and  leaves us with anticipation with regard to how the rest of the story will unfold: “I had just opened my classroom door to the balmy spring afternoon when a woman entered and surveyed the bustling crowd of kindergarten children, my aide, and several volunteer mothers.”

All three of these opening techniques are worthy of adding to our arsenal of descriptive techniques.

 

Don’t spoon-feed your reader

Most of the authors in A Cup of Comfort for Teachers Showed without moralizing; readers are allowed to draw conclusions for themselves. The impact that these teacher-heroes have had on their students’ lives shines through without our having to be Told: “I made an impact on this child” or “This teacher had a tremendous impact on me.”

Many of the writers focused their story on only one or two students. They gave us an intensive look at the complexities that make up a kid’s world. But the truths that emerge are universal. I was astonished how one story about one kid experiencing one incident could give me such a clear picture of the teacher. No need for the author to recount a whole list of teacher successes or student events in order for us to understand what the author is trying to express.

 

Retain your focus

Relating one incident or discussing one student or teacher brings me to another important element in writing: focus.

Focus is vital with a blog, for example. The best way for readers to absorb the information presented in a blog post is for the blogger to concentrate on just one aspect of a subject, whether the blog is about writing, finance, speech therapy, or race cars.

Likewise, in memoir, share one swatch of your life’s tapestry and describe it in depth – and perhaps comment briefly on how it has impacted you or informed your behavior even today. Counterintuitively, focus creates a larger world for your readers. It’s easier for them to relate your experiences to their own lives.

Along with focus, you do need thoughtful attention to detail about that one particular subject. Readers need more than just an entertaining or uplifting few minutes. Details draw readers into your world, or into the world of your characters.

But of course, you need balance. Don’t go overboard with unnecessary details. Make sure every word counts.

 

Describe, but then get out of the way

The best descriptive writing presents the information and then allows the reader to come to conclusions him- or herself. As the author, you get to decide what you’d like your readers to take away from the piece, but it’s important to allow them to figure it out on their own. This is the writing goal you want to work toward.

Tell your story, whether it’s fiction, nonfiction, memoir, a cookbook – anything. Use words that will convey to the readers exactly what you mean; I like to call them “industrial-strength” words. Focus on some of, but not all, the details. Guide your readers: enable them to experience and feel what you intended. And then get out of the way and give your readers room to have the experience and identify with the subject, or with you.

Happy writing!

Deena

Deena Nataf

BulletproofWriting.com

Deena@BulletproofWriting.com

 

 

 

 

We are capable of great things

If you remember, I mentioned recently that I had to re-record, for the 3rd time, my entire course, Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked. It’s all done, it sounds great, and I was able to do it in only 4 days. I astonished myself.

It got me thinking about how we underestimate our capabilities. For example, this premium course is so important to me that I was able to not only record it quickly and well, but I managed to write multiple posts in just a few days.

Moreover, I have learned that I am capable of great output, and that has changed my story.

You are also capable of making great writing progress. The next few sections will tell you how.

 

Output + habit = writer

Recently, I read an awesome, as well as super-comprehensive ebook called The Ultimate Guide to Growing Your E-mail List, by Primoz Bozic.  Now, while many of you do not have an email list to grow, there are some absolute gems of ideas in the guide that will help you accomplish any goal you set for yourself.

For me, writing every day, no matter what, is crucial. And even more important,  setting aside the same, specific period of time each and every day was the only way I felt I could accomplish this. To accomplish this, I added some accountability in the form of a writing tracker spreadsheet, also from Primoz Bozic. It keeps me more or less on the straight and narrow in terms of my writing. What’s more, it’s fun to see my writing progress, and how many words I have written each day. I highly recommend you download the spreadsheet, too. It’s easy to use.

In a nutshell, writing every day, preferably at the same time is not only crucial for your output, it will help tremendously with improving your writing as well. This is what I’ve been learning: We need to get into the habit of writing. The progress will come – with a little help from my blog and my new premium course!

 

Nothing could be harder than giving up sugar

One caveat I learned in The Ultimate Guide to Growing Your E-mail List was that if we want something badly enough, we might have to give up a non-essential, time-sucking activity. While I am a strong advocate of hobbies and “escapes,” I was astonished at how many hours per week I was devoting to my own downtime.

About 2 months ago, I gave up sugar. Let me tell you, it was the hardest physical thing I’ve ever done – made the two 10Ks I ran seem literally like a walk in the park.

But the best part about giving up sugar is that I realized it gave me a superpower – that of being truly capable of doing what needs to be done to reach a goal! I applied this to trimming the excess off my reading and other downtime activities. (And if you’ve kept up with my posts, you also know that I am a recovering cozy mystery reader.)

Thus, I’m experimenting with keeping to a writing schedule NO MATTER HOW TIRED OR DISTRACTED I AM. It’s hard – but so was giving up sugar. I didn’t always feel like skipping dessert, but I did it anyway.

What I discovered about saying No to both sugar and excessive leisure time is that:

• It means saying Yes to feeling better
• It means saying Yes to increasing my writing output – which improves Bulletproof Writing for you!
• It slowly gets easier the more I keep at it
• I am gradually looking forward to my writing sessions more and more, and can get into “zone” quicker

 

Discover your superpower

You, too, are capable of great things. You can definitely do more than you think, without feeling overwhelmed. Adjust your schedule to make room for daily writing. It doesn’t matter how many minutes; just get started, and keep it up every single day.

Challenge yourself.

If you’re interested in improving your writing, why not take my course, Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked? I’m confident your writing will improve by leaps and bounds. The course is self-paced, so you decide how much to do every day. There is lots of supplemental material too, in addition to the audio part of the course. Click here if you want to be put on the waiting list. I might add a surprise or two for those who sign up. And there is absolutely no obligation to buy the course.

More next week! In the meantime,

Happy writing!

Deena

Deena Nataf

www.BulletproofWriting.com

Deena@BulletproofWriting.com

P.S. Don’t forget to enter the giveaway for a month of coaching from me! It’s worth $297. Here’s the link to enter. Share it will others, and you’ll get more entries if they sign up, too.

 

 

The giveaway for a month of writing and editorial mentoring is in its final week, and I encourage all of you to enter. It’s an opportunity to win 1-on-1 coaching from me. We’ll work together to design a step-by-step program for writing or finishing your book, article, memoir – whatever you want – with the goal of getting it written and finished. And you’ll have access to me via both email and phone.

Once you enter, you’ll get a special sharing link. Share it with others, and get more entries if they enter!

Here’s the link to the giveaway. It ends Friday, July 12, at 9.00 am EST. Don’t miss your chance!

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In the next couple of weeks leading up to the launch of my course, “Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked,” I’ll be delivering posts more frequently into your inbox. Whether you choose to buy the course or not, I hope you will get a lot of value out of this series on description. 🙂

In my last post, I pointed out some common description mistakes writers can make, and I gave you some possible fixes. In this post, I’m going to give you 4 description tools you can add to your writer’s toolbox that will go a long way toward upping your description game.

After all, you spend hours, days, or even weeks writing the perfect story, chapter, article, or non-fiction piece. You sweat over it, you lie awake at night thinking about it, and you walk around the house distracted.

It’s within your grasp to produce this, yet something’s missing.

How can you enliven your descriptions? How can you make your writing your own? How can you make your writing believable?

 

Description tool #1: Method Writing

Term “Method Writing” is my invention. It’s a short, daily writing exercise, and it primes the pump for writing vivid prose.

Think of your life as one big, constantly growing tapestry. Six days a week, sit yourself down and choose a small swatch of the tapestry: The first time you rode a 2-wheel bicycle without falling, a terrible day in the 7th grade, being chosen last for the basketball team during gym class, the first time you drank vodka…the list is, literally, endless.

Write about this event for about 15 minutes. It’s even better if you do it in longhand. Be sure to include several of the five senses in this piece: What did you smell, touch, taste, hear, see? Focus on details.

Instead of describing how you felt about the experience, write down the physical and emotional sensations caused by the event. Remember to not be overly dramatic.

Method Writing gives you practice in seeing the world with all 5 senses. And most important – you’ll have a written record spanning the gamut of human emotions, which you’ll be able to apply to your writing. For example, your exhilaration at riding a bike for the first time will help you describe a bride’s happiness, even if you’re a guy. The shame and rejection you felt in gym class will segue onto the page when describing a man whose fiancée broke up with him – even if you’re a woman, a happily married man, or 16 years old.

After you’ve practiced Method Writing for a few days, go back to your current writing project and rework some of the more limp passages. Integrate the sense experiences you’ve been writing about in your daily Method Writing sessions. Remember that besides sight, there are four other senses you can employ in your description.

 

Description tool #2: Show

I’ve explained Show several times, and I encourage you to read this post for more information. Or consider buying “Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked”! (You can put yourself on the waiting list here.)

Using Show in your prose means that you are describing the effect instead of the cause. For instance, instead of “The snow was cold” (cause), how about describing the snow from your character’s point of view: “The snow landed on her face, freezing it into a scowl” (effect). Or instead of “The coffee was hot,” you might say, “The coffee burned her tongue.”

Go easy on the adjectives and adverbs; let nouns and verbs do the heavy lifting.

 

Description tool #3: Tell

Believe it or not, Tell can be very useful when you want to write descriptively. Does that sound crazy? Before I explain what I mean, let’s quickly go over what Tell is and what it’s not.

• Tell helps move the plot or story along. This includes non-fiction, which also needs a storyline or narrative.
• Tell generally uses “to be” words, along with more passive verbs such as “have” and “do.”
• Tell gives readers a break from Show.
• Tell uses more adjectives and adverbs than Show.
• Tell is explanatory rather than experiential for the reader. We might not need to feel the snow on her face if this doesn’t serve the narrative; we merely have to read that it fell on her face.
• Tell is cause, not effect.

Why Tell is useful in descriptive writing

You definitely need plain narrative and explanation in your prose; if you employed only Show, you’d exhaust your readers. But this this doesn’t mean you can’t dress up your writing a bit.

Here are a few examples of Tell description that use power words, even while they’re showing effect:

• “Her sweatsuit was a green blur as she bounced up and down on the trampoline.”
• “Jenna absently twirled her red hair with her left hand as she figured out which color to dip her paintbrush in.”
• “The sky was overcast when they got into the car to go to the movies, and both were thankful for their fur-lined boots.”

Tell walks a fine line between overly descriptive, useless prose, and under descriptive, boring prose. For instance, in the 3rd example, overly descriptive would be…

“The sky was grey and overcast, with angry-looking clouds, as they ran to the black Mercedes. They were shaking with excitement and cold as they anticipated the drive to the movie theater. Both were thankful for their sturdily handsome, fur-lined boots.”

…while under descriptive prose might look something like this:

“It was cold. The sky was cloudy. They got into the car and went to the movies. Both of them were happy to have warm boots.”

Keep an uneven balance between Show and Tell (with Show maintaining the advantage), but don’t think of Tell as the enemy of descriptive prose.

 

Description tool #4: Analogy, metaphor, and simile

Analogy, metaphor, and simile are great description tools, as they use the reader’s experience and knowledge to help him or her understand what you’re trying to convey. Of course, moderation is the name of the game; don’t burden your readers with an avalanche of these description tools.

In a nutshell:

• Analogy is comparing two things that are dissimilar.
• Metaphor is making something a proxy for something else.
• Simile is using “like,” “as,” or “than” to compare two entities.

A caveat: You might have learned slightly different definitions of analogy and metaphor from your English teacher, but don’t get hung up on this; just use the devices when necessary, and don’t fuss with which one you’re using.

Remember that these tools can also become hackneyed and boring (see my previous post). So be careful.

Here are some examples of all 3 techniques:

Analogy

Analogy uses a known entity to explain an unknown entity in more familiar language.

• “Imagine McDonald’s being staffed by a bunch of investment bankers, and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what the charity auction at Harvard looked like.”
• “Getting onto the diamond exchange is not dissimilar to winning a seat in Congress.”
• “I heard the gunshots, and visions of my tour of duty in Saigon in the early seventies sprang to mind.”

Metaphor

Metaphor evokes an image in your mind so you will more readily understand the idea.

• “She has that Ella Fitzgerald-type of voice.”
• “He’s the Goliath of the family.”
• “My mother’s politics match those of Atilla the Hun.”

Simile

Simile is more of a straight comparison.

• “He sings like Joe Cocker on a bad day.”
• “My grandfather is as mean as a hungry pit bull.”
• “She’s uglier than Cinderella’s sisters.”

 

***

 

I will be covering these and many other descriptive writing techniques in depth in my online course, “Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked.” Go ahead and put yourself on the waiting list! You might be in for a pleasant surprise… Click here to get on the list. There is absolutely no obligation to buy.

I hope this post will help you put more color and light into your prose. Which technique will you try today? Let me know in the comments below.

Happy writing!

Deena

Deena Nataf

www.BulletproofWriting.com

Deena@BulletproofWriting.com

P.S. Don’t forget to enter the giveaway for a month of coaching from me! It’s worth $297. Here’s the link to enter. Share it will others, and you’ll get more entries if they sign up, too.

 

 

 

The giveaway for a month of writing and editorial mentoring has gotten off to a good start, and I encourage all of you to enter. It’s an opportunity to win 1-on-1 coaching from me.  We’ll work together to design a step-by-step program for writing or finishing your book, article, memoir – whatever you want – with the goal of getting it written and finished. And you’ll have access to me via both email and phone.

Once you enter, you’ll get a special sharing link. Share it with others, and get more entries!

 

[giveaway id=2659]

 

In honor of the upcoming launch of my premium course, Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked, I thought we’d go over some common mistakes we all make when trying to up our description game.

 

Description mistake #1

Too dramatic

Most of us have felt at one time or another that to describe means to be dramatic. Check this out:

She slithered into the room, gloriously shimmering from head to toe. Every man in the room cast his eyes on the dazzling figure she cut. As Percival sipped his cold martini, its tang burning the roof of his mouth, his sea-green eyes watched her closely. As Chloe strutted past him, the scent of her Chanel No. 5 wafted into his nostrils, awakening memories of their magical time together.

Okay, other than the fact that this is the worst piece of prose I’ve ever written in my life – but do you think I could get a job writing for Harlequin Romances? – I have to ask you something: are martinis tangy?

This overly dramatic paragraph is not only bad, it’s full of unnecessary adjectives and adverbs, no-no’s I’ve harped on in several posts. Moreover, do we really care that Percival’s mouth is burning? I know I don’t.  And I really don’t want to hear about his nostrils.

Yes, you need descriptive words to convey time, place, and mood, but if the description is not necessary to the plot or thesis, don’t go there.

Sometimes, less is more. Try using hard-working nouns and verbs to do the heavy lifting, so you won’t have to fall back on excessive verbiage.

Check your adjectives and adverbs (if you must use them) for accuracy. I personally wouldn’t want to see a woman slithering into a room; what is she, a snake? Put yourself in the mind of your reader. Your descriptive words are going to evoke feelings; which do you want your reader to experience?  Once you figure that out, find words that will do the job.

 

Description mistake #2

Too self-conscious

This is the type of writing sounds like the author is looking over their shoulder while writing. Often, one gets the feeling that they’re trying to imitate a famous author in the process. While I encourage you to read many and varied authors – and I even suggest you write out particularly excellent descriptions in longhand – when it’s time to do your own writing, you need to take lessons from the greats but employ your own, unique style.

Here’s a parody of Ernest Hemingway, who was famous for his bare minimum, Marlboro Man descriptions:

The mountain stood naked in the early-morning sun. Birds flew from their aeries in anticipation of a new day of scavenging. The man shrugged his backpack onto his shoulders, beginning the ascent. The smell of last night’s campfire emanated from his wrinkled, slept-in clothes. He walked on the path toward his destiny.

Very nice (not). It’s certainly better than the first example, but not by much. Nothing really happens. Again, where in this paragraph is the plot being moved forward?

What does a naked mountain look like? And what’s with this destiny thing? Is the author going to develop it; does he himself even know what that last sentence means? Remember: Never write a word whose meaning and implication you don’t absolutely know. Don’t sacrifice clarity and purpose on the altar of cheap Hemingway leftovers.

As a side issue, notice the rhythm of the sentences; they are almost all the same: subject-verb-prepositional phrase-comma-participle phrase. I am a fan of aural writing, meaning that the prose must sound right to my ear. Therefore, when I’m reading over what I wrote (BTW, I do read everything over three or four times, and I recommend this for everyone), I make sure to vary the rhythm of the sentences, their length, and their syntax.

 

Description mistake #3

Too many “to be” words

Many of us use a lot of “to be” words, which generally don’t contribute to original, thought-provoking prose.

While it’s fine to Tell sometimes, we should all be wary of too many “to be” words. Even when Telling, you can use other verbs. Check this out:

A book was on the floor, and Martine was picking it up when Jean Claude walked into the room. He was wearing brown corduroy trousers and a black shirt. The other books were on the shelves according to color. Jean Claude snorted when he saw them.

The problem with this paragraph is that it’s a parade of was, was, was, and were. let’s dress it up with a few descriptive verbs and judiciously placed adjectives and/or adverbs:

Jean Claude entered the room, wearing brown corduroy trousers and a black shirt that set off his emerald-green eyes. A book lay on the floor, and Martine bent to pick it up as she glanced at him. The rest of the books on the shelves were categorized according to color. Jean Claude stared at this bizarre arrangement, his eyes flickering with amusement and the dimple on his cheek deepening.

As I’ve said both here and here, Tell is usually cause and Show is generally effect. The first three sentences in this excerpt are more Telling, as they give us information without the emotional investment. The last sentence is Show, as the flicker of amusement and the deepening dimple

1. were caused by the wonky placement of the books on the shelves and
2. demonstrate how Jean Claude experienced the vision of the books.

 

Description mistake #4

Too superficial

Many times, descriptive writing will require you to get into the head of a character and find a way to convey what they’re feeling or experiencing. If you want to employ description, you won’t be able to get away with “She felt bad” or “She was freezing.” You also have to be careful about hackneyed phrases, which won’t do your subjects justice.

Compare this:

James drove the convertible like he was competing in the Indy 500. The wind was ice-cold and his tears froze on his cheeks. He drove relentlessly toward his father’s house, dreading the moment he had to break the terrible news. The wedding was off.

With this:

It was like being rejected from the high school basketball team all over again. How would he face his father as he turned the key in the lock? The wedding was off. James felt the old lump in his throat and his racing heart. And something new, too; his cheeks were wet.

In the second example, we learn how James is feeling from the comparison between his present rejection and his rejection from the basketball team. Who among us hasn’t experienced some sort of rejection in our lives? Who hasn’t felt a lump in their throat? Don’t we all remember an event where we dreaded facing our parents?

Moreover, the second excerpt draws us in to James’ world; we experience what he’s experiencing. With superficial description, that can’t happen. Feelings and emotions can be reported, but not experienced.

***

As you can see, there’s more to descriptive writing than just “describing something.” The warning signs I outlined above will help you ask yourself the right questions and present your prose clearly and interestingly.

For more on description, consider taking my course, Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked. Click here to get on the waiting list! And stay tuned for more on descriptive writing in the next few weeks. And, as always,

Happy writing!

Deena

Deena Nataf

www.BulletproofWriting.com

Deena@BulletproofWriting.com

P.S. Here’s the link for the giveaway again.

 

 

I’ve been busy these past weeks recording my premium course, Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked, which will launch this summer. I’ve had the slides done professionally, and my sound person is refining the audio as we speak. Here’s some preliminary information about the course.

Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked, version 2, is based on the 2017 beta version of the course, which sold beyond my wildest expectations – surpassing the industry average for online course sales by 400 percent.

 

What’s inside the course

I’ve completely revamped and rewritten Wake Up Your Prose. I’ve also expanded it from 8 modules to 10 modules – plus a bonus module. The slides are beautiful, and the sound is great.

Each module has a downloadable Workbook. I’m redoing the ones from the beta course and writing new ones for Modules 9 and 10. The Workbooks contain a summary of the module, plus supplementary material, checklists, and links to relevant ebooks.

Each module, builds on what we’ve learned in previous modules. There’s an entertaining and challenging writing exercise at the end of each module, so you’ll be able to put your new knowledge into practice right away.

Here are the modules:

• Description Warm-Up
• Method Writing
• Description Basics
• The Art of Storytelling
• Show
• Tell
• Analogy, Metaphor, and Simile
• Putting It All Together: Description Review and Reinforcement
• Quick and Dirty Tips for Enhanced Description
• Grammar
• Special Bonus Module

 

Think you might be interested? Click here, and I’ll put you on the waiting list. If you’re on the list and decide to buy, you’ll get a special treat.

I’ll keep you updated as we get closer to the launch.

 

New book by an old author

I just finished Warlight, by Michael Ondaatje (of The English Patient fame), and it was extremely well written. He packs his novels with myriad observations, many musings, and a lot of information. Every word is precious and relevant to the novel, so you have to read very closely. At the same time, it’s a great read; just pay attention. Fascinating and worthwhile.

There is a lot of mystery in Warlight, some of which is never resolved. For example (spoiler alert!), we never find out what happened to the protagonist’s shadowy father after he disappears. I was bothered by this, and then I read an interview with Michael Ondaatje, which took place way before he wrote Warlight.

My loss was that I never spoke to [my father] as an adult….He is still one of those books we long to read whose pages remain uncut….He was a sad and mercurial figure. There was a lot I didn’t know about him, and that was recurring in my books: trying to find the central character. It became a habit. In all my books there are mysteries that are not fully told.

What Ondaatje says reflects a bit of Method Writing: He uses the mystery of his own father to include mysteries “not fully told” in his fiction. By the time he writes Warlight, one of the mysteries is in fact the central character’s father, whom he never gets to speak to “as an adult.”

 

Paying it forward

When I was just starting Bulletproof Writing, I received a lot of help from generous bloggers, who took the time to give me information and advice. I also read many and various blogs, where I learned the nuances of owning a website and writing interesting articles. In light of the help I received, I thought it would be appropriate to share the love, and mention some other, more recent internet businesses that have something worthwhile to say to readers of my blog.

 

1. Podcast

A few posts ago, I mentioned that I was reading an ebook called The Age of Illumination: Science, Technology, and Reason in the Middle Ages, by Scott Rank, who writes and presents a podcast called History Unplugged. If you’d like to listen, you can subscribe here.

 

2. Grammarly redux

Remember my review of Grammarly? Last week, I received an email from the man who runs a blog for designers called Daily Logo Challenge. They recently published a post comparing Grammarly’s free version to its premium version. If you’re thinking about purchasing Grammarly Premium, or if you’re interested in another side of the Grammarly debate, you can read the post here.

 

3. Cute infographic

One of my readers sent me an infographic on homophones (sort of like homonyms) from another website, which I thought was great. The graphics are really clever. You can see it here.

***

That’s it for now. Go ahead and start your summer reading soon, and let me know which books you’ve chosen. And of course,

 

Happy writing,

Deena

Deena Nataf

www.BulletproofWriting.com

Deena@BulletproofWriting.com

 

In the first part of my 2-part series on good and bad literary trash, we learned all about good and bad literary trash, especially what makes good trash good. In this post, we’re going to explore common mistakes bad-trash authors make, as well as go over a list of what to do if you want to land in the winner’s circle.

Let’s begin with 3 issues I see consistently in those semi-professionally written cozy mysteries and romance novels I’ve described as “bad trash.”

Grammar and idiom

Almost to a (wo)man, bad trash is loaded with grammar mistakes and poorly proofed copy. Issues such as misspelled words; using that instead of who when describing a human being; and misuse of words, idioms, and phrases are just a sampling of the mistakes I’ve encountered in the past month alone.

1. Who/whom

Although I personally deplore it, the use of who instead of whom is becoming de rigueur even in good trash. For example, it is now acceptable to say “The musician who I like.” On the other hand, no professional writer would ever countenance the following: “To who do I owe the pleasure?” The Grishams and Folletts of the writing world (and/or their editors) would never make this mistake.

If you want to use who occasionally instead of whom, pay attention to nuance and make your choice carefully.

For a more in-depth treatment of the who/whom issue, see the guest post I wrote here.

2. Bemused and nonplussed

With regard to misused words, almost all the authors of bad trash I’ve read use bemused and nonplussed incorrectly. Bemused means bewildered, confused, dazed, or lost in thought. It does not mean amused. However, thanks to the decline of English skills in the past generation or two, Merriam-Webster now allows it to be used with the meaning of “having or showing feelings of wry amusement especially from something that is surprising or perplexing.” That last part is Merriam-Webster’s nod to bemused‘s original and correct meaning.

Similarly, nonplussed means “unsure about what to say, think, or do; or perplexed.” Unlike its position on bemused, however, Merriam-Webster adds the following to its definition: “The use of nonplussed to mean “unimpressed” is an Americanism that has become increasingly common in recent decades and now appears frequently in published writing. It apparently arose from confusion over the meaning of nonplussed in ambiguous contexts, and it continues to be widely regarded as an error.”

I discuss other problems with idiom and word choice in this post and this post.

3. Parallel structure

Parallel structure remains a problem in bad trash. Here’s a real winner:

“It was the constant round of preparing lectures, assignments, and then grading those assignments that was the problem.”

Simply put, this is a lousy sentence. Parallelism is but one of its problems.

The parallel structure problem is that the word preparing goes on both lectures and the first occurrence of the word assignments, but not on the term those assignments toward the end of the sentence.

Here’s another problem: A sentence that begins and ends with “It was…that was” is awkward and clunky.

How about one of these instead:

• “The problem was the constant round of preparing lectures and assignments, and grading the assignments once they were turned in.”
• “The problem was the constant round of preparing lectures combined with creating and grading assignments.”
• “The problem was the constant round of preparing lectures, creating assignments, and grading the students’ school- and homework.”

For more on parallel structure, check out my posts here, here, and here.

 

What [not] to do

I’ve gathered a few suggestions from my vast experience with bad ebook trash. Following these guidelines will lift you up and out of the slush pile and into the category of a professional and published writer.

• Don’t give your characters names that start with the same letter. Surprisingly, this is very common in bad trash. I can’t tell you how confusing it is to get everyone straight when you have a Kitty, a Kathleen, a Blaine, and a Baily. (These four names are from the same awful book.) Finessing the details goes a long way to being seen as a real author.
• Keep track of who’s talking in lengthy dialogues. Recently, I came across a several-page conversation that switched characters in the middle. Don’t do this. When writing your first draft, put characters’ names in brackets before each line of dialogue, and delete them when you’re finished writing the conversation.
• Keep a “book bible.” If you’re writing fiction, list every character in the book: first name, last name, age, where they were born, hair color, basic personality traits, etc. Nonfiction writers: Get the spelling of names, cities, colleges etc. correct, and get your dates right. Write all of this information down. If you’re writing a biography, create a family tree for yourself. Inconsistency with regard to any fact marks you as an amateur.
• Stay professional. When creating an author’s bio, don’t add how many dogs or cats you have, and don’t tell us that you love to knit in your spare time. You’re allowed to have a spouse and kids, and you’re allowed to live somewhere, but that’s about it. Authors of good trash generally mention only that they’re the best-selling author of 105 books and live with their family in rural Mississippi. This isn’t an anti-animal or anti-crafts thing; it’s a being-taken-more-seriously thing.

***

Honestly, it really doesn’t take that much to hone your writing abilities. A few significant tweaks can do it. The above ideas will help you continue to grow.

Bottom line, you need

• a strong grasp of grammar, and
• the knowledge of what does and doesn’t sound good.

Fiction writers can add to this list realistically drawn characters and plots that make sense. Nonfiction writers need to remember that all literature – even a computer manual – tells a story.

Make it a priority to read good literature, whether modern novels, classics, or nonfiction. Stay away from old, hackneyed cliches, and keep asking yourself, “What am I trying to say?” You’ll be surprised how well-received your writing will become!

Happy writing!
Deena

Deena Nataf
www.BulletproofWriting.com
Deena@BulletproofWriting.com

 

In my next post, I’ll continue my series on good and bad literary trash, but I decided to interrupt it this week with some general writing tips, a roundup of what I’m currently reading, and comedy grammar.

Like me, I’m sure many of you are busy doing Spring cleaning, preparing for Passover or Easter, or counting the days until Spring Break. This period can be a real tinderbox of pressure and overwhelm, but it doesn’t have to be.

When preparing for a big task, I spend a few minutes breaking it up into parts, and then breaking up those parts into smaller, manageable, and quick jobs. I then make a timeline, working backwards from Ground Zero.

This year, I’m also trying to think lateral instead of linear. For example, I have always performed a one-day cooking marathon before Passover. It never occurred to me to take two days until a colleague of mine looked at me like I was insane, and said, “Why are you doing this to yourself?” So I readjusted my schedule and will now be able to cook for two days instead of one. Wow, what a concept.

 

Minimize writing overwhelm

For some of us, just the thought of sitting down to write engenders feelings of overwhelm every single day (you are writing every single day, aren’t you?). Consider applying my cooking and cleaning principles to your writing. Why not try the following:

• For a project, novel, article, etc., divide up the tasks into general categories such as research, outline, writing, editing, etc.
• Divide each of these large categories into several manageable, one-day tasks.
• Give yourself a due date and work backwards, assigning one task to each writing day or days.
• Decide the following the night before each writing session: when you are going to write, what you are going to write, and how long you are going to write – and stick to it.

Breaking tasks into small, mini jobs has also been helpful for preparing my revised, premium course, Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked. I’m making slow but steady progress recording the script, and hope to launch sometime before the summer.

 

What I’m reading

I realized this morning that I’m reading, or have read recently, 6 books.

Nonfiction

First is an ebook called The Age of Illumination: Science, Technology, and Reason in the Middle Ages, by Scott Rank. It’s an interesting treatment of a 1,000-year period that has historically been labeled the Dark Ages. The author contends that there was a lot of progress and advanced thinking going on during these years, such as the invention of the clock and the writing of the Magna Carta.

Second on my bedside table is Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History of the American West. It unsentimentally gives an account of the flip side of Manifest Destiny, which for most Americans of a certain age was glorified in our 5th grade history lessons. The book is very sad and very hard to read, but fascinating and important. I highly recommend it, and it’s well written to boot.

Fiction

As far as fiction goes, I read Ann Tyler’s Back when We Were Grownups a week or two ago. It’s classic Ann Tyler, and I liked it. There are two Tyler novels that I did not like: The Amateur Marriage and Pulitzer-Prize-winning Breathing Lessons (sorry, Ann), and I was a bit embarrassed by Vinegar Girl (completely out of character for a Tyler book, but a cute read). Next on my Tyler agenda is A Patchwork Planet, which I picked up today.

I just finished the third book in a historical-fiction trilogy set in the post-Civil War Midwest. Immediately previous to that, I had read a series that takes place in post-Civil War San Francisco, so I’m enjoying the continuity of time periods.

I’ve begun reading Jamie Ford’s Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, also historical fiction. It takes place in 1942 Seattle, Washington, right after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, when anti-Japanese sentiment was at its peak. So far, so good. Very well written, and the historical time period is one I’ve always enjoyed learning about. Although I’m only on page 41, I can already recommend it. The writer is Asian, and it has that gentle, calm, and elegant feel that many of us associate with that region of the world.

Memoir

I’m in the middle of A Year in Provence, a memoir by Peter Mayle. Mayle and his wife moved from London to Provence, France, in the late 1980s, and this book chronicles their first year there. It’s absolutely laugh-out-loud hilarious. And boy, is he a good writer.

As I’ve emphasized in my memoir series, the memoir writer must choose his or her area of focus: a specific angle, a special format, an impactful time period, etc. Mayle chose a 12-chapter format (January–December) and focuses on the everyday happenings and adjustments to living on what is for all intents and purposes a new planet. He spends a lot of time talking about food and wine, which I found tiresome, but I’m enjoying the book immensely nevertheless. Fans of James Herriot’s All Things Bright and Beautiful series will enjoy this one.

 

Comedy grammar time

Here’s a grammar-nerd-friendly piece in The New Yorker called “Dropped Hyphens, Split Infinitives, and Other Thrilling Developments from the 2019 American Copy Editors Society Conference,” by the comma queen herself, Mary Norris. Many thanks to my dear subscriber, Yehoshua D., for the heads up. The article’s a hoot; here’s one long excerpt that I especially loved:

The conference offers dozens of sessions, on everything from gender consciousness to “Bad English.”… But the centerpiece of the weekend is the session at which the A.P. announces changes to its annual style guide. It was standing room only…. There were guidelines on race…and updates on recreational marijuana (pot or cannabis on second reference; employees at dispensaries are budtenders).

A cheer went up when [the A.P. representative] announced that “split forms” are acceptable—most copy editors have long since stopped worrying about the split infinitive, but now we are good “to boldly go” where the English language has been going for centuries….

You could feel the excitement in the room when a slide appeared with the heading “HYPHENS!” The A.P. is dropping the hyphen in such terms as “African American,” “Asian American,” and “Filipino American.” …

More hyphen news: in the interest of preventing clutter, the A.P. will drop the little bugger from such compounds as “third-grade teacher” and “chocolate-chip cookie.” The purpose of the hyphen is clarity: because there is no danger in mistaking which two words go together (it’s not “gradeteacher” or “chipcookie”), the extra mark is unnecessary….

One final item: the hyphen has been removed from double-“E” combinations, such as “preeclampsia,” “preelection,” “preeminent,” “preempt,” “reenter,” etc.

***

Pick up a good book, keep going with your writing, and I’ll see you next time with more examples of what makes good and bad literary trash. I’ve also got some great tips for making sure your own writing lands in the good, great, and magnificent piles. Until then,

Happy writing!
Deena

Deena Nataf
www.BulletproofWriting.com
Deena@BulletproofWriting.com