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Don’t Take My Word for It: Famous Writer Gives Valuable Writing Tips

January 31, 2021 by Deena Nataf Leave a Comment

 

Bulletproof Writing

 

Confession time: I listen to a fantastic podcast called True Spies (don’t laugh).

The podcast’s producers recently linked a noteworthy article from the BBC on their site called, “The secrets of TV’s greatest thriller-writer.” It’s an interview with Jed Mercurio, creator of the TV series “Line of Duty” and “Bodyguard” – among other literary hits, both TV and otherwise. I was so taken with the article that I decided to write this post with the salient facts and tips. All his tips can be applied to any form of writing.

First, a little background: Mercurio used to be a doctor. He switched careers before he was thirty, and became a writer.

Here are some of Mercurio’s tips, with my scintillating commentary.

 

Write what you know…but in the broadest sense

We’ve all heard this a million times, but what I love about  Mercurio is that he actually lived it! He knew medicine from his years as a doctor, and propelled them into two medical TV series (“Cardiac Arrest” and “Bodies”). However, he recognized that the same dynamics in the medical workplace could be applied to any workplace. He thus segued into to law enforcement (“Line of Duty”) and politics (“Bodyguard”).

My favorite thing Mercurio says here is, “It’s very important to have the ambition to tell different stories.” See also my articles on writing what you know and writing what you don’t know.

 

Don’t let yourself get pigeonholed

Mercurio encourages writing in different genres. He tells us not to be afraid to switch from, say, drama to comedy. He says, “If the story feels right then follow it.” He also advocates for inventing genres.

Another way to prevent getting pigeonholed is to write different types of media: books, journals, a movie or play script, etc.

I recently wrote three chapters of a parents’ guide, and it was a blast. I’d never written book chapters, nor had I ever written in the self-help space. I just took a deep breath and went with it. I’m happy with the results, and so is my client.

 

Never be afraid to shake things up

Since Mercurio is a TV writer, this translates for him into “breaking new ground” with each series. His examples include introducing a new antagonist or extremely unexpected plot twist. He emphasizes that this is how you keep your present audience captivated while allowing new watchers of the show to be immediately engaged.

I believe this suggestion applies to both fiction and nonfiction. Don’t forget to initiate plot twists and turns, and be brave in your writing. For fiction writers, if you are thinking of writing a series, you will need new characters, new stories, shocking revelations, etc. in each book. You need to retain your regular fans while enticing new fans to your series.

With regard to nonfiction, you can “shake things up” via the language you use, with humor, or even as a result of the angle or “take” on the subject you choose. This is especially true in memoir and biography. Stephen King’s brilliant On Writing is a perfect example of this.

 

Make the writing feel authentic even if the plot is fantastical

Here’s Mercurio: “I want my current shows to feel as accurate as possible, which means doing the research and talking to people who actually do those jobs [that he’s writing about]. “

Mercurio says authenticity also means consistency in emotions. If a character has PTSD (“Bodyguard”), his behavior must reflect this in all situations: work, home, barber shop, etc. Moreover, the author must write this character’s family members as relating to and reacting to the PTSD. No character is an island, and characters need to be more than one-dimensional.

The importance of authenticity cannot be underestimated. Just because a book takes place on Mars, or in the year 2450, doesn’t mean that the players are wooden robots (unless, of course, the book is about wooden robots). However, this applies to all authors, not just fantasy writers. Make sure you delve into characters’ emotions, motivations, backstory, etc.

 

***

Do let me know in the Comments whether you agree or disagree with these writing tips, and what else you’d add to them.

I’ve recently added “Book Editing” to my Fiverr portfolio. (My other gig is journal and article editing.) Those of you who wish to explore working with me can peruse my profile here. If you’re new to Fiverr, let me know at the email address below, and you’ll get a discount on your first order with me.

And as always,

Happy Writing!

bulletproofwriting.com

 

 

 

 

(Note: One of the links in this post is an affiliate link, where I get a small fee if you buy – at no extra cost to you.)

Filed Under: Writing Techniques

The Importance of a Great Title (and other important writing and grammar stuff)

November 20, 2020 by Deena Nataf Leave a Comment

I don’t know why I keep torturing myself.

How many poorly written (but historical, so that makes it better, no?) novels will I suffer through before I get rid of my Kindle Unlimited subscription?

Is it really that difficult to learn the difference between pouring and poring? Principle and principal? (Pro tip: click on the links for my explanations.)

Alternatively, how hard is it to subscribe to my blog?

 

 

The importance of a good book (or story) title

If my frustration with poorly written books weren’t enough, some of the titles also leave much to be desired. Many do not explain what the book is about, or lack a subtitle to do the heavy lifting. Granted, this is less of a problem in fiction. But take a look below for examples of both poor and outstanding titles, and what you can do to make sure your title will make your book, story, or article as sell-able and readable as possible!

1. A title must be relevant

I just finished reading a wonderful book for all ages, The Journey that Saved Curious George: The True Wartime Escape of Margret and H. A. Rey, by Louise Borden, illustrations by Allan Drummond. It tells the story of how the Curious George books got written and published, thanks to the authors’ escape from France in 1940 with the manuscripts and original artwork in bags hanging off their bicycles.

In the book, Borden tells us that the original title of the first Curious George book was The Adventures of Fifi.

Now, how many of you would want to buy, not to mention read, a book called The Adventures of Fifi? It sounds like a book about a spoiled French female poodle with those awful fluffy curls in different places on its body. (And they’re even uglier when they’re not coiffed.)

But Curious George? Now that’s a fun name! It makes you want to sit down right away and open the book. Granted, H. A. Rey’s gorgeous illustrations help too, but even if you had just heard the title without seeing the book you’d probably be, well, curious.

So make sure the title of whatever you write is relevant to the book or story itself. Nobody would think that an adorable, lovable, spunky monkey would have a name like Fifi.

2.  A title must be written with an eye to marketing

My husband told me about a famous nonfiction book, Ideas Have Consequences, by Richard M. Weaver. Weaver wanted to title the book The Fearful Descent, but his editor (thankfully) nixed that idea. According to an article I read about the book and its title war, “Sensing that this title would not exactly thrill the public, the director of the University of Chicago Press insisted on Ideas Have Consequences…Weaver hated the change and threatened to cancel the book’s publication. But Weaver’s editor had good marketing instincts. “Ideas have consequences”…remains familiar even as Weaver himself has sunk into obscurity. [Emphasis mine.]

To emphasize this even further, take Louise Penny’s outstanding novel, A Rule Against Murder. In the UK, it’s called The Murder Stone. Likewise, the first Harry Potter Book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, is called Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone in the UK. Book titles change according to region as well as what the publishers in each country feel would best sell. (I’ve even encountered books whose title changed a few years after publication, its author and publisher hoping for better sales.)

Whether you’re planning on selling your writing, or merely want to share it with friends and family, you need good “marketing.” By this I mean you need a way to draw your target audience, to make them want to read and/or buy the book.

3. A title must tell you something about the book – succinctly

I was also tooling through the book list of an indie publisher a few weeks ago, and I was struck by how uninformative the titles were. Here are a few:

Excitement in the Air for All!

This is one of a series entitled “Animals Build Character.” The problem here is that we have no idea 1) which animal is being featured, and 2) what the book is about. However, the overarching error is the series title. Are the animals actually doing the building for you? Or is this a statement of fact, like if you look at an ant, you’ll be a more industrious person? Or just a hint that these stories of talking animals will inspire children to have better character traits?

Aging in Wellness and Adversity

What this book needs is a good subtitle: Is it a how-to book or a series of reflections on aging in different circumstances? Another issue is that “wellness” is not necessarily the opposite of “adversity,” so the title is a bit unbalanced.

Being Your Best Self

Well, gee, we all want to be our best selves, but what does this book have to offer me that makes it different from the other 100 million self-help books out there? The problem is not only the lack of a subtitle but also a title that is way too vague.

The Fittest Survivor

Maybe it’s just me, but it took me like 10 minutes to figure out that the title was a nod to Darwin’s Survival of the Fittest theory. Plus, I needed help from the blurb. At first I thought the book might be about someone who was in great physical shape, but the book is about a Holocaust survivor.

Remember: Online or in a bookstore, you only have about 30 seconds to engage a potential reader and sell your book, so make sure the customer knows what it’s about, and if possible, what makes it different from everyone else’s.

 

What’s doing with NaNoWriMo?

For those of you who are doing National Novel Writing Month, affectionately called NaNoWriMo, you’ve reached the other side of the . This is where we separate the men from the boys.

I recently came across an article about why there’s more than just your novel at stake if you quit now. You can read it here.

Remember: Even if you’re not writing a novel, NaNoWriMo is great for developing a daily writing habit. If you didn’t sign up for NaNo, don’t let that stop you from beginning your very own writing habit TODAY. Here’s one of my posts that will help you with this.

 

Do you have any classic examples of either fabulous or not-so-fabulous book or story titles? Let all of us know in the Comments below.

And do tell me how you’re doing with your writing ritual and/or NaNo.

Until next time,

Happy Writing!

 

(Note: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, where I get a small fee if you buy – at no extra cost to you.)

 

Filed Under: Comedy Grammar, Tips for the Writing Life

Get Ready (Fast) for NaNoWriMo 2020!

October 30, 2020 by Deena Nataf Leave a Comment

 

I sincerely hope you and yours are getting through the current crisis in once piece and are gaining whatever good from it that you can.

 

Thing 1

First on the agenda: My new website, DeenaNataf.com, is live! Not finished, but live nevertheless. You can see it, but don’t be disappointed because I have a lot to add to it. But at least the skeleton is there. I finally paid someone to figure out what was wrong with the site, and he fixed it in 10 minutes. I hope to have resources for writers, my portfolio, and BulletproofWriting.com posts on this new site.

 

Thing 2

Second, NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, begins this Sunday, November 1st! Are you in?

Remember: It doesn’t have to be about writing the Great American (or English, etc.) Novel and publishing it with Simon & Schuster; it’s about creating and sustaining a writing habit. Why not sign up for NaNoWriMo and see if you can write every day for a month? Give yourself a goal: 250, 500, or 1,000 words a day; or 20, 30, 45, or 60 minutes a day.

Write whatever you want; it’s not like the NaNo police are going to come to your house and ask why you’re not writing a novel. Commit to, say, writing 3 short stories, or even journaling before work. It doesn’t matter what you write. All that matters is that you sit down and do it!

Here are a few resources from the folks at NaNoWriMo to help get you started:

  • Basic information about NaNo and sign-up button
  • FAQs
  • Pep talks and encouragement from famous (and not-so-famous) authors
  • Cute checklist of preparations to make before you begin
  • “The 9-Step Plot Dot”
  • “51 Questions You’ve (Probably) Never Asked about Your Characters”

 

Thing 3

Even if you don’t choose to participate in NaNoWriMo, it’s always a good idea to hone your craft. So let’s learn something!

The following rules can be especially valuable for those writing specific books or articles, but all writers need them.

According to the wonderful grammar and writing book, Woe Is I, which someone gifted me (thanks, JG!), you can use both me and I when you have a simple comparison without any extra nouns to complicate matters:

  • He’s a better man than I.
  • He’s a better man than me.
  • His old girlfriend was more complicated than me.
  • His old girlfriend was more complicated than I.

However, when inserting more nouns into your sentence, it’s best to clarify with a few more words. I’ve discussed this in another, earlier post in more detail.

Let’s take, “She gives more respect to our father than I” vs. “She gives more respect to our father than me.” Which one is correct? It depends on what you’re trying to say.

  • She gives more respect to our father than I do. (I.e., our father don’t get no respect from me)
  • She gives more respect to our father than she gives to (I.e., Papa comes first)

 

That’s it for now! I want to get this out post-haste, so all of you NaNos can get ready!

Please let me know in the comments below if you’re going to take up the challenge and join NaNoWriMo. What have you decided to write? And what will be your goal: words per day or minutes per day?

Can’t wait to hear from you!

 

Happy writing,

 

 

Filed Under: Writing Techniques, Tips for the Writing Life

Creating Subject-Specific Metaphors (plus news, discounts, and other fun stuff)

September 3, 2020 by Deena Nataf Leave a Comment

 

 

I hope you and yours are coping with Corona, and sincerely hope that we will see the end of this plague soon.

It’s so good to be back in blog mode! We have many new subscribers, and I’m so thrilled – welcome to all of you!

News and discounts

My new website which, incredibly, is called DeenaNataf.com, is officially registered and under construction! I’m trying to build it all by myself. However, if I get stuck, I’ll be sure to hire a freelancer on Fiverr.

I, too, am a Fiverr Pro freelancer, and am happy to offer discounts with the following links:

  1. If you and/or someone you know needs editing, copy editing, or proofreading, and has never used Fiverr before, both Fiverr and I are offering a substantial discount. This is the link to my special “new Fiverr customer” page.
  2. If you and/or someone you know needs any other service, click here for my affiliate link. You will also receive a discount. There are literally thousands of services offered: websites; design and graphics; virtual assistants; digital marketing and research; video and music; legal, financial, and business consultation; data entry; health and wellness; voice-overs; stylists; online lessons; arts and crafts; etc.
  3. If you have used Fiverr before but are interested in my services, here’s the link to my profile, and here’s the link to my specific service (called a “gig”). Just let me know you’re a subscriber to my blog when you contact me, and I’ll happily give you the same discount as new Fiverr customers.

P.S.

If you and/or someone you know wants me to edit, copy edit, or proofread without going through Fiverr, contact me at Deena@BulletproofWriting.com, and I’ll be happy to work on the project and give a discount.

Gorgeous writing

I’ve just finished all Elizabeth George’s books in her Detective Thomas Lynley series. George is an absolutely brilliant writer; the way she uses description is nothing short of perfect, and her lexicon is awesome.

I like George’s novels, but they’re not for the fainthearted. Her books generally contain graphic violence and language. Most of her plots have to do, even tangentially, with sex. If you can get past all these lovely things, her prose and character studies are like nothing I’ve ever encountered before. Her treatment of a character’s psychology reminds me of P. D. James, but in my opinion, is on a whole other level.

George is also famous for her books on writing, which I highly recommend: Write Away, and her new Mastering the Process: From Idea to Novel. (Affiliate links.)

Gorgeous examples

Here are two excerpts from two of the Detective Lynley books I read this spring. Take a look at George’s use of analogy, metaphor, and simile. Pay special attention to the clothing metaphor in the second excerpt:

[The door] stands open, beyond it a courtyard between whose paving stones weeds spring like unexpected thoughts.

Whoever said April is the cruelest month had never been in London in the midst of a summer heatwave. With air pollution dressing the sky in designer brown, diesel lorries draping the buildings – and the inside of noses – in basic black, and leaves wearing the very latest in dust and grit, London in late-June was the cruelest month. Indeed, it was a veritable hellhole.

You, too, can write like Elizabeth George

I challenge you to create one paragraph in which you use only one metaphor throughout. Here’s my offering:

Allegra’s brisk steps alerted her children to get into Tracking mode. As she entered the kitchen, her three mini-me’s arranged themselves flush left of the refrigerator, waiting for her critical eye. Index finger poised like a red pen, Allegra proofread the kids, assuring herself that shirts agreed with pants, and socks matched the shoes they were modifying. Formatting spoons and bowls in a precise layout on the table, Allegra shot her kids a “save as” look while she went to edit their backpacks.

Okay, it’s no War and Peace, but it’s cute and I had fun doing it.

I’d love to see the fruits of your labors! Send me your one-metaphor paragraph at Deena@BulletproofWriting.com. Perhaps I’ll publish them in my next blog!

Keep well, and I hope to bring you another blog soon. Until then, and always…

Happy writing!

Deena

Deena Nataf

www.BulletproofWriting.com

Deena@BulletproofWriting.com

Filed Under: Writing Techniques

Reading Ideas (and More!) for the Duration

April 2, 2020 by Deena Nataf Leave a Comment

As a companion piece to the one I published last week, I’m pleased to give you some reading ideas and other intellectually related activities to take advantage of during this terrible pandemic. The best part is that not one of them involves a television set.

First, I have an update: I’m in the process of setting up DeenaNataf.com, which I hope will be live in the next few months or so. My BulletproofWriting blog will be available there.

 

Kindle and other free options

reading ideas

Wandelopa / CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)

Now that my used book store is “closed for the duration,” I have turned to my Kindle for my reading addiction leisure time. I figure, most of the books I buy on Kindle cost the same as those I buy at the used book store.

Bonus! There are lots of free books, too, as you’ll learn below.

For those of you who do not own and are not going to buy a Kindle, you still have options. (If you buy any of the following products using the links provided, I will get a small commission at no extra cost to you.)

First of all, your computer and smartphone can be real lifesavers. Did you know that you can buy any book on Kindle and read it on either one of these devices? For more information, click this link.

Once you’ve downloaded the free Kindle app either on your computer or your phone (or both!), you will pleased to discover that there are many free Kindle books. Here’s a link to Kindle’s free classics library. You can finally sit down and read all those books you’ve been meaning to read for years, from authors such as Mark Twain, Jane Austen, Joseph Conrad, and Harriet Beecher Stowe. There are also many kids’ selections in the free library, and  magazines as well. As I’ve said many times, reading the classics is one of the best ways to improve your writing.

If you do want to buy a Kindle, here are your options.

Home with kids? Here’s a link to Kindle for Kids.

 

Where to find books

Amazon offers Kindle Unlimited, which gives you access to over 1 million books of all kinds. You get a 30-day free trial, after which it’s $9.99 per month.

Interested in audio books? Audible offers a 30-day free trial as well; the monthly fee after that is $14.95.

Another book lover’s site is BookSweeps, which offers an array of self-published and indie ebooks, giveaways, and contests. They have every genre of literature, for every age group: romance, suspense, sci-fi, inspirational, regular fiction, nonfiction, and young adults, just to name a few. Caveat emptor: I do not guarantee the quality of the books. I’ve downloaded a couple of doozies that I couldn’t even finish, they were so bad.

 

Online storytelling

I found a terrific, free website called Storyline Online, which provides video readings of gorgeously illustrated children’s books. They’re read by actors and other entertainers (Oprah Winfrey, unsurprisingly, is one of them), and even politicians such as Al Gore!

You can watch the videos on three different platforms: SchoolTube, YouTube, and Vimeo. The videos are well-produced and feature background music and some animation. And of course, you get to see each page with its illustration! Check it out for your kids.

reading ideasOne of my favorite kids’ books when my children were growing up was When Pigasso Met Mootisse, by Nina Laden. Here’s the video of the book being read by Eric Close. You will flip out with the incredible pictures and clever prose.

 

 

Let the games begin

reading ideas

SONY DSC/Evan-Amos

How about ordering a classic word game? Good, old-fashioned games can keep everyone busy for hours. Plus, family game times build some of the strongest childhood memories.

My favorite word smithy-type games are Boggle, Bananagrams, and Scrabble. (There’s even a Scrabble Junior.) Each one can be played by kids of all ages, and adults won’t get bored, either.

Rummikub continues to be a favorite of mine as well. I remember playing it as a child and teenager, and much later, my kids and I played it frequently as they were growing up.

 

My favorite podcast

Podcasts are my new favorite thing. I listen to them when I’m cooking, cleaning, and walking without my partner. I cannot recommend Jonathan Goldstein’s Heavyweight podcast enough. In a nutshell, Jonathan helps people revisit watershed moments in their lives with regard to which they still have unfinished business (heavy weights).

Jonathan Goldstein was one of the original hosts of NPR’s This American Life radio show/podcast, and he’s now hosting shows for Gimlet Media. I find Heavyweight fascinating, hilarious, and poignant all at the same time.

There are some curse words in many of the podcasts.

Check out the archives (The new season begins in the Fall, all being well). There are enough of them to see you through the pandemic.

 

***

I hope these ideas will help you fill the time at home with enjoyable and substantive activities.

Do you have any other suggestions for enjoyable, educational, and/or meaningful activities? Please share them in the comments, below!

 

Hang tough, and

Happy writing!

www.bulletproofwriting.com

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Tips for the Writing Life, Uncategorized

Keep Sane and Keep Writing During Lockdown

March 24, 2020 by Deena Nataf Leave a Comment

 

I sure hope you are coping with the new reality this terrible pandemic has brought to the world. Absolutely no one cannot not be affected (how’s that for a triple negative?). I pray you and your family are safe and well.

I’m now a Fiverr Pro!

Here’s an update: I’m now selling my editing and proofeading services on Fiverr Pro, the higher-end category of the online freelancing platform Fiverr. You can hire me to edit, copy edit, or proofread your book, article, or story. I’m offering a substantial discount to my readers – plus, I’ll eat the commission fee Fiverr will charge you. You can check out my Fiverr gig here.

In addition, if you know anyone who is looking for an editor or proofreader, please share the link with them as well. Thanks!

 

Your writing schedule

Being on lockdown is a perfect opportunity to continue your daily writing schedule – or even increase the time you spend writing! Most people feel freshest in the morning, but do what works for you.

Need some writing prompts? Click here for my free ebook, “144 Prompts.”

Writing with kids at home

Many of you have kids at home, which sometimes presents an even greater challenge to your writing discipline than either being home alone or working outside the home. Now more than ever, it’s essential to have a daily schedule, both for yourself and for your kids.

If you have very young children, you can set them up on the floor near your computer and give them paper and crayons. That way, they’ll feel like they’re also “writing.”

If you have older kids, how about giving them a writing challenge during your own writing time? Perhaps give them a subject to write about, and when time is up, share with each other what you’ve written.

Or make it into a competition: see who can write the most words in an allotted time. And be sure that everyone gets to share their prose or poetry.

As many school-age children are “going to school” online, you can also take advantage of their school time to write.

 

Hone your writing skills

I encourage you to use some of your enforced home time to work on the technical aspects of your writing craft. Bulletproof Writing, for example, has over 100 articles on Writing Techniques,  Comedy Grammar, and Tips for the Writing Life. Check out articles you haven’t yet read, and review old favorites!

Need motivation? check out this article and this article.

Want some ideas on how to schedule your writing sessions, or even your entire day? This article and this article are two of my favorites.

Need writing tips? Here and here are a good place to start.

As for grammar, you can try my 2-part series on learning grammar the fun way: here and here.

Speaking about series, I have several. Here are links to part 1 of the following series:

Writing Memoir (5 parts)

Self-Editing (5 parts)

Grammar Questions You’ve Been Too Embarrassed to Ask (3 parts)

***

Here’s the link again for my free ebook, “144 Prompts.”

And here’s the link to my Fiverr Pro gig.

I’ll be back with the second part of this Lockdown series – Inexpensive Ways to Read Good Books and Other Non-Writing Activities – in my next post. Until then,

Happy writing, and stay healthy and safe!

 

Filed Under: Tips for the Writing Life

Improve Your Writing in 5 Steps

January 22, 2020 by Deena Nataf Leave a Comment

improve your writing

I came across this fantastic blog post by Leah McClellan of Simple Writing, which discusses 5 ways to improve your writing. I thought it was too good to keep to myself. What follows are the 5 ways, in my own words, and with commentary and examples. In keeping with my Bulletproof Writing mission, I have endeavored to use as few technical words as possible.

 

1. Don’t introduce sentences with fluff

Get to the point, fast. Instead of, say, “She was the kind of girl who loved ice skating,” simplify with, “She loved to ice skate.”

Here are some other no-nos. Those in red indicate unsuccessful sentences; those in blue are more successful:

“There are a lot of people who are sitting in the auditorium” vs. “Many people are sitting in the auditorium“

“It was your tone of voice that bothered me” vs. “Your tone of voice bothered me“

For more about excessive verbiage, see my posts here and here.

 

2. Avoid repetition

Although in the original post Leah warns against repeating the same words at the beginning of sentences and paragraphs (“She walked in the door. She took off her glasses. She put up the kettle for tea.”), I would expand that to the entire piece. I cannot tell you how many times I have come across the same or a similar word being used time after time, in sentence after sentence. (Did you notice just I did it, too? See below for a suggested correction.)

It’s hard for an author to see this type of mistake, because he or she is too close to the matter. This is a major reason why you need an editor to go over your work; they are one degree removed from the text and can see things with a fresh eye. Here are a few examples of the repetition problem:

“I’m not about to talk about the problem” vs. “I will not talk about the problem” or “I am not about to discuss this problem“

“Bert tried to find an appropriate word for the sentence he was writing. In the meantime, his daughter walked into the room wearing a dress that was not appropriate for church. He finally found the appropriate word, and was then able to address himself to his daughter’s inappropriate dress.” vs. “Bert tried to find the right word for the sentence he was writing. In the meantime, his daughter walked into the room wearing too casual a dress for church. He finally found the word he needed, and was then able to deal with his daughter’s inappropriate sartorial choice.”

“I cannot tell you how many times I have come across the same or a similar word being used time after time, in sentence after sentence” vs. “I cannot tell you how frequently I come across the same or a similar word being used time after time, in sentence after sentence“

 

Rereading your pieces multiple times will go a long way toward eliminating repetition such as the above. And reading your prose out loud never goes out of fashion.

For more tips on self-editing, see my post here.

 

3. Use fewer -ing words

Here I have very little to add to what Leah wrote. Pay attention to too many –ings in your writing. Your prose will sound more assertive and self-confident.

“You will no doubt be noticing that your writing is becoming more assertive and self-confident” vs. “Notice that your writing is more assertive and self-confident” or “Your writing has become more assertive and self-confident” or “You write assertively and self-confidently.”

Just a word from our sponsor: It is fine to use the phrase, “your writing,” as the word writing functions as a noun here.

“Yesterday, while it was raining, I was sitting at my computer contemplating writing a blog post. The phone was ringing nonstop, and I was finding myself not paying attention to what I was planning on writing.” vs. “It rained yesterday morning. While I sat at my computer, I thought about what to write for my next blog post. Every few minutes, the phone rang, and it was difficult to pay attention to the task at hand.”

In the corrected version, I’ve deleted all the –ing words, but of course you can leave some of them! Sometimes, it’s helpful to go all the way in the opposite direction before you find that “golden mean.” I highly recommend your trying to write without any –ing words for 10–15 minutes as a writing exercise.

What about parallel structure?

Sometimes you do need to use the same type of words in one sentence: “I’m reading, writing, and listening to music.” It would be wrong to say, “I’m reading, I write, and I have listened to music.”  For more information on and examples of parallel structure, see my post here.

 

4. Pay attention to prepositions

Leah has a chart of common prepositions in her article; check it out and find some new ones!

I see two issues with regard to prepositions: using one unnecessarily and using either the wrong or a weak one.

Unnecessary prepositions

“the teacher of the yoga class” vs. “the yoga teacher“

Since I so actively dislike “the ____ of the _____,” I’ll go out on a limb here and give you permission even to write, “the woman who teaches the yoga class.”

“the scent of the perfume” vs. “the perfume’s scent“

“the girl with black hair” vs. “the black-haired girl“

“the boy had guilt written all over his face” vs. “the boy was guilt-ridden” (would be even better to Show instead of Tell here)

“the boy with guilt written all over  his face” vs. “the guilt-ridden boy“

Pay attention to “the ____ of the ____” structure that cannot be changed, for example:

Secretary of State

“Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States”

“Top o’ the morning to you”

…and look up official terms to see what is proper in your particular corner of the world, such as Ministry of the Interior vs. Interior Ministry.

Wrong or weak prepositions

The wrong preposition

Sometimes it’s difficult to figure out which preposition goes with a verb. Many times, you can get your answer from a dictionary (affiliate link). Don’t want to buy one? Use Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary.

In any case, if I’m stuck, I generally try to figure out which preposition to use by saying the sentence out loud. For example, recently I came across the following in a book I was editing: “Who can help hold you accountable on your goals?” I knew the preposition on was incorrect, but this was a tricky one. When I said the sentence aloud, the preposition to jumped out at me: “Who can help hold you accountable to your goals?”

Other times, the issue is which pronoun to use in a certain cliché or expression. For instance, “It’s hard on me.” This would work if you were talking about parenting: “Being a mother of an ADHD kid is hard on me and my nerves.” However, if you were discussing math, you’d need the preposition for, i.e., “These algebra problems are hard for me.”

A weak preposition

There are so many interesting and less common prepositions out there! Try a new one for a change, for more colorful prose (and see Leah’s list):

“Barbie got on the ship” vs. “Barbie went aboard the ship” or “Barbie ascended the gangplank” (here, there’s no preposition)

“Ken sat on top of the mountain” vs. “Ken sat atop the mountain“

“Curtis stood in front of me” vs. “Curtis stood opposite me“

For more on prepositions, see my post here.

 

5. Beware of “fillers”

Leah calls the following words “filters,” because “they place a barrier between your character and his or her thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. They create wordiness, too, and make readers focus on unnecessary words instead of what’s really going on”: feel, see, hear, know, hear, smell, realize, wonder, decide, notice, remember, think, wonder, watch, seem, note (he noted that), sounded like, able to (they were able to), and experience (she experienced something).  Check these out:

“Bobby smelled the cloying scent of his mother’s perfume” vs. “The cloying scent of his mother’s perfume made Bobby’s nose twitch” or “The perfume’s scent overwhelmed the small room” or “Bobby sneezed from the cloying scent of his mother’s perfume.”

By the way, notice that I did not write “His mother’s perfume’s cloying scent.” In most cases, use just one possessive per clause.

“It looked like they were able to tie the knot tightly” vs. “They tied the knot tightly“

“She decided to go to the library” vs. “She went to the library“

“I wondered how the otter made the dam” vs. “How did the otter make the dam?“

“He appeared to be preoccupied by the amount of work he needed to do” vs. “His workload preoccupied him” or “He was preoccupied by the amount of work he needed to do” or “He had a lot of work” or “He was busy” (would be even better to Show instead of Tell here).

For more on sentence structure, see my post here.

 

***

 

Find ways to introduce previously unused – or underused – words into your writing. Use less fluff and fewer fillers. Watch out for repetition. Expand your preposition repertoire.

Committing to just a few of these tweaks will make your prose more descriptive and less average. Let me know in the Comments which ones you choose.

Special thanks to Leah McClellan of Simple Writing. Here’s the link to her post again.

Happy writing!

Deena

Deena Nataf

BulletproofWriting.com

Deena@BulletproofWriting.com

Filed Under: Writing Techniques, Comedy Grammar

30+ Holiday Gifts for Writers

December 10, 2019 by Deena Nataf Leave a Comment

www.bulletproofwriting.com

 

Last week, I bought myself a writerly present, which reminded me that the holidays are coming up fast and furious.

Therefore, I thought I’d list several great gift ideas for writers. I’ve chosen items that range in price from cheap to moderate (I’m not going to recommend a $30 candle or a $94 “vegetarian leather” journal – even though it comes with free shipping); and from super-writerly to auxiliary writerly.

I know you’ll find something that you can either purchase for yourself or give a subtle hint about (“Look what I found on Amazon; I’d love to have this!”)

Now to the gifts. I’ve tried to choose products that have the “Amazon’s Choice” banner, which indicates items highly recommended for quality. (Please note that I might receive a small fee from Amazon if you buy them with the link I’ve provided – at absolutely no extra cost to you.)

 

Moleskine

I’m featuring only Moleskine products in this category, as it’s hands down the best product on the market for writers and other creatives. There’s nothing like the feel of a brand new, empty Moleskine notebook or diary that you can fill with story ideas, random thoughts, sketches, and your daily schedule. Make sure you buy yourself a special pen to go with these.

Notebooks and journals

Moleskine Classic Notebook, large

Moleskine Classic Notebook, pocket

Moleskine Cahier Journal, large (Set of 3)

Moleskine Cahier Journal, pocket (set of 3)

For all 4 of these products, you can choose paper (dotted, plain, ruled, or square) and color (too numerous to name). They start at around $7.00 for the pocket and around $10.00 for the large, but each type of paper and each color are priced differently.

Diaries

Moleskine diaries are my favorite. One side of the page is the calendar, and they’ve kept the facing page blank for jotting daily or weekly schedules, notes, ideas, etc. In 2016, I bought the large; for 2020, I’ve chosen the pocket. As with the notebooks and journals, prices depend on format and color.Moleskine diaries

Moleskine Classic 12-Month 2020 Planner, hard cover

Moleskine Classic 12-Month 2020 Planner, soft cover

With each link, you can tailor your choice to large or pocket size, daily or weekly format, and color.

 

Kindle

If you’ve read my posts for any amount of time, you’ll know that I love my Kindle. It’s great for travel (bus, train, plane, etc.), and many times you can find digital books cheaper than the print edition. Here are some options.

Kindle: $64.99–104.99, with 25% discount for trade-in.

Kindle for Kids: For the budding reader or writer in your life. Comes in a variety of cute designs. $84.99.

Kindle Unlimited: This is a subscription service. You get access to over 1 million books. $10.00 per month; first month free. Deal for December 2019: $.99 for 3 months instead of first month free.

 

Books for writers

Although buying books for writers seems a bit obvious, we often neglect to give ourselves the tools that will make us better at our craft. I’ve divided the myriad options into books on writing and reference books.

Books on writing

The classics

The following 3 books are the ones I recommend most emphatically. All three deliver first-rate writing advice, are an interesting and fascinating read, and combine both humor and pathos. They are truly unforgettable.

Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamont

On Writing, by Stephen King

On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Nonfiction, by William Zinsseron writing well

 

 

Recommended by others

The following books are either known to be superb or had great reviews.

Writing about Your Life: A Journey into the Past, by William Zinsser

Another classic from Zinsser. He teaches you how to write a memoir by writing his own and annotating it with technical advice and tips on how to write yours. I’ve read parts of it and I love it.

Stein on Writing, by Sol Stein

For many, Sol Stein is the last word on editing. Of course, I’m partial to an editor rather than an author writing a book on writing, because 1) he’s seen it all and therefore knows what works, and 2) he’s more objective. The book got mostly 5-star reviews, but one very insightful 1-star review claimed that Stein gives warmed-over, hackneyed advice to writers, which contributes to a basic sameness in much of fiction today. This makes me want to read the book even more, to see if I agree with the reviewer.

The Writing of Fiction, by Edith Wharton

Short and succinct, Pulitzer Prize-winning Wharton’s advice is timeless.

Aspects of the Novel, by E. M. Forster

This book was originally a series of lectures Forster (of Passage to India fame) gave in 1927 at Trinity College, Cambridge. Comprises intelligent British wit. He cites numerous examples of classic literature to back up and reinforce his points. Some reviewers felt the language was outdated, but that doesn’t bother me. I like Forster’s writing, although I did not enjoy reading him in high school.

Dictionaries and Style Guides

Dictionaries

Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 11th edition

Merriam-WebsterI don’t care how attached you are to the Merriam-Webster online edition; every writer must have a physical dictionary at hand.

Paperback Oxford English Dictionary

For all you lovers of British English, this is the one to get.

Style guides

The Elements of Style, by William Strunk Jr. and E. B. Whitethe elements of style

I’ve been hounding my readers and clients to buy this for years. Total classic; the first word in writing well. Required reading for anyone who owns a computer or a pad and pen.

The Chicago Manual of Style, 17th edition

Chicago Manual of StyleAnother mandatory reference book. It costs $43, but a yearly subscription to The Chicago Manual of Style Online is $39 (you get a 30-day free trial), so the book is the better deal in the long run. The 17th edition will take you well into the next decade. I personally love using the physical edition. I’ve marked with Post-Its the most common questions I have and the chapters I refer to the most.

Garner’s Modern English Usage, 4th editionGarner's Modern English Usage, by Bryan A. Garner

As the Amazon blurb says, “Garner explains the nuances of grammar and vocabulary with thoroughness, finesse, and wit. He discourages whatever is slovenly, pretentious, or pedantic.”

Garner is so well-respected in the field that he has his own, 80-page chapter in the most recent edition of The Chicago Manual of Style (see above for link to Chicago).

Fowler’s Dictionary of Modern English Usage, by H. W. Fowler and R. W. Burchfield

Many of you are familiar with the esteem in which I hold my buddy Fowler. As the book jacket says, it is a “compilation of learning, wit, humour and good taste.” In other words, it’s a hoot. He’s got information in there that I have never found elsewhere, and I refer to him on a regular basis.

Pro tip: Get the print version. The Kindle version got terrible reviews. Readers said that it was unreadable, the file was corrupted, there were OCR errors, etc.

 

Auxiliary stuff

The following are great companion pieces for a writer (or reader).

Non-edible

Scrivener

Scrivener is a well-known software package that helps you not only write your books and articles, but keep everything organized. It’s got a lot of amazing features. It has a learning curve, but once you get the hang of it, you won’t know how you lived (and wrote) without it. For those who self-publish, you can go from manuscript to ebook almost with a push of a button.

Scrivener costs between $45 and $49, depending on your operating system, and they offer educational licenses at a 15-percent discount. You can also try it free for 30 days.

Millard Reading Pillow with Memory Foam

ComfortSpa Reading Pillow

I can attest that a reading pillow is a great aid to comfortable and enjoyable reading.

Ziraki coccyx seat cushion orthopedic luxury chair pillow

A nice tushy pillow for $16. Recommended for sciatica and back pain relief.

Folding Lap Desk, Laptop desk, breakfast table, bed table, serving tray, with extra-large storage

lap deskThis product seems to do everything except do the dishes, and it’s less than $23. I want one, too.

 

 

Edible

What more can a writer want than to relax after a hard day at the computer with a favorite book, a reading pillow, and a plate of yummy treats?

Ghirardelli Chocolate

Godiva Chocolate

I love my teaTaylors of Harrogate Classic Tea Variety Box

Bulletproof Coffee: This really is a thing. I haven’t tasted it, but how could I leave it out, considering the name?

 

Last but not least…

Here are 2 more options for your gift-receiving pleasure.

Amazon Gift Card

Cop out with this perennial favorite. A great way to enable your spouse’s laziness (“But I didn’t know what to buy you!” “I ran out of time!”)

A month (or 2 or 3…) of author mentoring

bulletproof writingI offer author mentoring (as well as full editing and proofreading services). There are 3 packages to choose from, and I’m always willing to design a custom program for you. Check out all the options here.

***

There you have it – the 2020 Writers’ Gift-Giving Guide. I hope you will find things to buy for yourself or for others – but I most sincerely hope you will be able to send this list to your loved ones and finally get what you really want for Xmas, Hanukkah, your birthday, or any other special day.

Happy giving and receiving!

Deena

Deena Nataf

www.BulletproofWriting.com

Deena@Bulletproof Writing.com

Filed Under: Tips for the Writing Life, Uncategorized

Using “One” in a Sentence

December 3, 2019 by Deena Nataf Leave a Comment

using one in a sentence

 

I don’t know about you, but I find it a bit off-putting when I see the term one overused in literature and conversation:

One could choose from soles of leather, resin…and, one hoped, eco-friendly in origin…although why one would purchase tap shoes without taps didn’t make such sense.

Like, when are you going to put a real pronoun in?

On the other hand, perhaps one is talking about the human race and not about a specific person. What’s one to do then?

In light of a query from one of my subscribers about using one in a sentence, and I decided to expand on it here.

Here are some questions that come up with the one issue:

  • When do we use one, and for what type of prose?
  • What are some alternatives to one?
  • Can one mix and match pronouns in the same sentence or paragraph?

We’ll go over these one (!) by one. But first, a short overview.

 

The pronoun one: an overview

The pronoun one is called a generic pronoun, a gender-neutral pronoun, an indefinite pronoun, and an impersonal pronoun. Take your pick.

It is often used in place of you, and sometimes it’s even used in place of I (see below). Many grammar pundits consider one to be more formal, nay, haughty.

Writers who are sensitive to gender issues use the pronoun one in order to avoid employing the male pronoun, i.e., he. Although you can be used as a gender-neutral pronoun as well, one seems to get the job done better when one wants a bit of distance between one and one’s readers, or when one is making an important point:

  • A flight cancellation can really ruin one’s day.
  • One must never give up.

 

Using the pronoun one

Many British authors use one extensively, even in casual conversation and even in contemporary fiction. Very often, the speaker uses it to refer to himself or herself (“the royal one“):

  • It was just so difficult when one didn’t feel hunger.
  • “One could tell from the first that it was only Missa he would ever care for.”
  • “It’s beaten into one from childbirth.”

American authors, however, use mainly I, you, or a noun such as “a person” or “people.”

One can also be used to express general human behavior:

  • One uses a spoon and not one’s hands to eat ice cream.
  • Excessive drinking can potentially put one into an awkward position.
  • A nice compliment from the teacher makes one work harder.

As I said above, you will notice that these sentences put a bit of distance between the speaker/writer and the listener/reader.

When is one appropriate?

You’ll get a feel for when to use the indefinite pronoun, and when not. Formal vs. informal is one yardstick. For instance, if you are writing about Marie Antoinette, you might want to say, “One is not amused” or “Let one eat cake.” There is also the cultural issue, as I mentioned, with regard to some British authors.

The use of one also works for instruction manuals and other pedagogic prose:

  1. One should be sure to turn off the electricity before one changes a light bulb.
  2. One doesn’t use curse words at the Vatican.
  3. If one is insensitive to the dog, it is likely to bite.
  4. After one says the blessing, one permitted to partake of the meal.

Are there alternatives to one?

Yes, there are. Here are four, based on the above sentences:

  1. Substitute one one with a gerund: “One should be sure to turn off the electricity before changing a light bulb.”
  2. Substitute the pronoun clause with a command: “Do not use curse words at the Vatican.”
  3. Use the passive case (sparingly): “Insensitive veterinarians will get bitten by their patients.”
  4. Use a different pronoun (and consider making the sentence less formal): “After you say the blessing, you can eat.”

 

Segueing into other pronouns

Sometimes, you can or must use more than one pronoun in a sentence. When I was working on an English translation of the Talmud, our team decided to go from one to he after only one one. We simply felt the sentences would sound better and be less “heavy.” Here’s an example:

If one performs any action without specification of intent, it is also considered as if he performed it expressly for its sake.

If you do decide to switch pronouns, make sure you go back to one when you get to a new subject. Here’s something I made up:

When one goes to the beach, she should put on suntan lotion. She might also consider using a beach umbrella. Her wallet can be kept underneath her towel. She’ll probably want to relax on her towel when she gets out of the water.

However, when one goes shopping, he should look at the prices of a few different options before deciding which product to buy. He will find that the products on the lower shelves are often cheaper than those at eye level. The healthiest food is displayed around the perimeter of the store, so he should begin his shopping experience there.

Other gender-neutral ideas

There are other alternatives to the use of one in a sentence, even when you are writing formally. For example, you can use a noun or “they.” Sometimes, just plain rewriting will solve all your problems. You can find out more about this here, in a post where I discuss gender-neutral pronouns.

Here’s the chart from that post:

gender-neutral pronouns

 

You can get the chart for home use by clicking here.

One last thing

Keep a lookout for confusing sentences when using one:

If one complains, one needs to address the issue.

Now, does this mean that if an individual complains, he himself needs to figure out why he’s complaining? Or does it mean that if person X complains to person Y, the latter needs to deal with it?

It would be better to rewrite the sentence to be more specific, i.e., “If someone complains to you, you need to address the issue.” Or “If you complain, you need to figure out what is bothering you.”

***

Please let me know if you have any writing, editing, or grammar questions. I love tailoring my posts to what my tribe wants!

And as always,

 

Happy Writing!

Deena

www.BulletproofWriting.com

Deena@BulletproofWriting.com

Filed Under: Writing Techniques, Comedy Grammar

48-Hour Flash Sale!

November 28, 2019 by Deena Nataf Leave a Comment

When I was doing acquisitions at an indie publisher, one of the most frustrating aspects of my job was having to write a rejection letter to a hopeful author.

Sometimes the manuscript was so full of grammar mistakes and typos, I couldn’t figure out the prose. Other times the story was inaccurate (Gustave Eiffel committed suicide by jumping off his tower – not).

But most of the time I had to write that awful letter because the prose was Just. Plain. Blah.

Have you ever gotten a rejection letter? It really hurts, doesn’t it?

It strips away your confidence, leaving you depressed and frustrated. You have no idea what you did wrong, or how you could have made the book or story better.

 

A Solution to Rejection

What if I could help you enliven your prose?

Show you how to summon up the author inside you and transform what you know, feel, and remember into acceptance-letter-worthy writing?

Unpack concepts and techniques – with lots of examples and fun writing exercises – that will shoot you up to the heady heights of being a “real author”?

And what if I offered all this to you at half price?

For the next 48 hours, head on over and get my 10-module, premium audio course, Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked, at half price!

 

Here’s what former students have to say:

“This course opened my mind to new material and refreshed (with a bang) things I knew. I review the modules and exercises often. It’s hard to believe the changes I’ve made to some of my writing that have produced more concise and, certainly, more fascinating reading. Sometimes I ask myself, ‘Did I really write that?’ Thanks, Deena!”

“I really gained a lot from this course! Deena has a way of forcing you (gently!) to squeeze the creativity of your soul onto paper. I loved her ideas to jump-start a short story, as well as the practical advice sprinkled throughout the course.”

“Deena’s classes are loaded with information. We learned how to pack a punch with our words and avoid common mistakes. She gave us a lot to think and write about, as well as worksheets for future reference. Both fiction and non-fiction writers, as well as copy editors and proofreaders, have a lot to gain from Deena’s courses.”

Wake Up Your Prose: Description Unpacked

Is:

  • self-paced
  • a breeze to implement in your own writing
  • broken up into bite-size, easy-to-understand lessons
  • audio, with professionally designed slides

Comprises:

  • 10 modules
  • 1 bonus module
  • 11 comprehensive, supplementary workbooks
  • 10 hands-on, fun writing assignments designed to catapult your writing to the next level…and even higher
  • ebooks, pdfs, checklists, and informative articles that will enhance your writing abilities

 

Course Curriculum

Module 1: Description Warm-Up. Get started right away, without a bunch of fluff and time-wasting information about me and why I’m so great. (I’ve provided a bio before Module 1; otherwise, how could you trust me?)

Module 2: Method Writing. Write about your own life and develop an arsenal of emotions and experiences to apply to your prose. (And get in the habit of writing every day.)

Module 3: Description Basics. The what, why, and how of description, and description best practices.

Module 4: The Art of Storytelling. Grab your readers from the get-go and use description tools for awesome storytelling and narrative.

Module 5: Show. Learn how to get your readers to experience, not just read, your prose.

Module 6: Tell. Report facts vividly, and move your narrative along in an interesting and masterful way.

Module 7: Analogy, Metaphor, and Simile. Use what your reader knows to convey something they don’t know.

Module 8: Putting It All Together: Description Review and Reinforcement. What did we learn? Where do we go from here? Recap the course and learn something new.

Module 9: Quick & Dirty Tips for Enhanced Description. Bonus techniques and advice from a veteran editor (me).

Module 10: The “G” Word: Grammar. A non-threatening lesson on why you have a greater chance of writing success if you care about grammar.

Bonus Module: Flash Fiction. Learn the basics of this trending genre, and try your hand at a complete story in less than 1,000 words!

Buy Now

Doors close on Friday, November 29th, at 11:59 PST.

I’m not planning to offer the course at half price again (my husband made me do it this time). Don’t miss out.

Still not convinced? Here’s the sales page.

Here’s the checkout page. (No need for coupon!)

See you inside the course!

– Deena

 

Filed Under: Writing Techniques

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Hi, I’m Deena Nataf

BulletproofWriting.comI’m a book and journal editor with thirty years of experience in the field. If you write to publish, I want to help you get that first draft written, that manuscript finished, and that book out the door. If you write for yourself, I’ll give you the tools you need to write clearly, write regularly, and write in your own voice. But no matter why you write, I’m passionate about helping you make your mark on the world.

You can see more about me here.

What Can I Help You With?

  • Writing Techniques
  • Comedy Grammar
  • Tips for the Writing Life
  • Uncategorized

Recent Posts

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  • Creating Subject-Specific Metaphors (plus news, discounts, and other fun stuff) September 3, 2020
  • Reading Ideas (and More!) for the Duration April 2, 2020

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